life is beautiful!

2004-08-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

charity walk!

"To err is human, to forgive is Divine."

2004-08-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

some times when i think about the word forgive , i wonder is it possible to forgive totally?
i often try to forgive the person who wronged me at that moment of time but my mind will keep on repeating that scene and it feels like you didnt forgive that person despite i think i do, making me feel that i am very petty. but eventually when time passes and i am reminded about that moment , i would shrug and laugh at those incidents.

i went online and found some inspirational quotes,though it sound very "chim", it answers most of my questions.haha , whoever the writer, forgive me for plagiarising your works :)

"To err is human, to forgive is Divine."

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple.
It dares you to imagine a better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future.

When you feel that forgiveness is necessary, do not forgive for your "their" sake. Do it for yourself! It would be great if they would come to you and ask forgiveness but you must accept the fact that some people will never do that. That is their choice.

The hurts won't heal until you forgive! Recovery from wrongdoing that produces genuine forgiveness takes time.
Non-forgiveness keeps you in the struggle. Being willing to forgive can bring a sense of peace and well-being. It lifts anxiety and delivers you from depression.
As life goes on and you remember, then is the time to once again remember that you have already forgiven. Mentally forgive again if necessary, then move forward. When we allow it, time can dull the vividness of the memory of the hurt; the memory will fade.

no time !no time!

2004-07-31T02:44:00.000-07:00

squeezed zijian balls.
real hard.

farewell ...cj odac

2004-07-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the odac farewell after the ptm. It was delayed slightly from 4:30 to 6:00. the j2s gathered at the mph . the place was decorated with streamers and balloons and lots of food. When we tried to enter the j1s all lined up in a straight line and gave us salutes.
We enter cautiously and it turned out that the last few j2s who entered got pounced on and wassuped. by the way there was lots of food there(wings, cakes, cookies, nuggets cocktails, jellies, fries, curry but where's the chips!!?)

When I was hanging around there, I remembered the good old days in odac . the sweating long mad runs, sexist games , lessons , friends , the smell and the conflicts alike. I realized the studying and the step down from cca lifestyle is very different. I realized that I m losing touch of odac as my other pals too. Despite the many lessons and memories it gave me, I felt that maybe my passion for odac is not that great after all.

We ate and enjoyed ourselves before we were given a skit by the j1s. it involves many unique experience in odac. Mine was the 2 dollar experience(it’s an odac thing) .after that we had to present a skit due to demand of the j3s. we did the lord of the ring parody and yes.. I did the role of the wife n a council member yup! acting out sex, it was fun! Our show garnered an applause before it was the j2 girls, they did their usual funny songs like baha boys “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?” and others. After that we had j3 presenting interesting events that were passed down form their generation.

It soon came to the j2 appraisal they got j1s to say out general perception of members.
Mine was the hard working trainings, encouraging, cheerful and positive influence, after that j2s were given adidas boxes containing a tumbler , an envelope containing letters of j1 , socks and odac singlets which I found out later. It was very memorable , we had songs session later, there was mistakes here and there but it was good nonetheless, we took picture and sing at camp fire.

At that very moment I was so sure that I was in odac again, the essence of odac, we hugged each other and sang songs, I wished that I could remain in odac every moment. Busily training up my 2.4 ,screw up my studies, talk crap with the other guys and endure those up and downs which changed me to the way I am now. But I know that I could not have such thoughts as I would not learn as much this way if I am always in odac , I must learn other thing so that I can expose myself to more interesting things. The odac song has been modified too!

I got to speak with some j1s which I know better like galvin ( sportsday ,xp group and xp ending), ren hao (xp group, conversation) marshal(xp group, trainings) it felt nice to speak with them as a good true friend(not that I don’t have any) and being appreciated(or low self esteem). Several of our members got wazzup too, including our president. We call that opening the durian and we took turns to wazzup him, I got taupoked by over 10 j1s guys and nearly died. And as we cleared we cleared up the mess, I took bus with other j1s we talked a little

On the bus I got look at some of the letters. It felt good to have 20+ praise letters but I know not all of them know me so some would be just to make me feel good, but some would be written or typed with true feelings, I appreciated their efforts anyway and never regretted to be in odac despite some tough moments which I nearly quit (I don’t know what kept me on) those moment were like wisp of smoke, quick to fade. Perhaps it is my belief in myself. Even if some words are just remarks but it felt good to know some of my actions are positive influence to others or even inspiring! I learn that word no matter how insignificant could cause very large effect. I also know I cannot live off these few words and I should start working to improve my self again, perhaps my studies first(connect and transfer, discipline from odac), these words should only serve as stone slabs on a “margarine slope”. To give me some support so that I will not fall too back if I doubt myself for my action.

just another day

2004-07-23T07:24:00.000-07:00

today is the last day of my observation that means i can try my luck to go late to school from next week onwards recently i heard from most of my friends that they received commandos letter, i was quite dissapointed that i didnt receive it as i was quite fit and very enthusiastic about it. but never mind, i will try to go for the best pt then,hahaha!

that day during bio lect, we were having plant sex and chin was saying that reward for insects to help fertilising the plant was the nectar n pollen to give them energy. my friend use this example to make fun of another of my friend(who was ....well endowed), saying that the reward of getting near her was the milk! that couldn't be possible as she is not lactating so she do not have milk BUT....... that was not the point, i was damn disgusting and laughter spread across the theatreatte

when i reached home i finally completed the puzzle i have been doing for past 1 week it turned out some pieces were missing, it was very exasperating as i wanted it to be framed.. take a look ,i 've put it online

agony!!!

love ACTUALLY

2004-07-21T03:45:00.000-07:00

love unspoken

rainy morning again...blew 6 bucks with taxi ride
realised that i left my class keys and attendence book at home so got into a little trouble but solved eventually , i swear that my home tutor is out to get me, got me to sign unnecessary forms and sarcastically told me that i need 2 slots of 2o mins for my ptm( others was 10 minutes only)

recovering from flu so still a bit lethargic, felt groggy in maths lect just felt like a zombie
still struggling with maths and stayed back after school to watch love actually.

it was a very romantic and interesting show....hey ,even guys have a feminine side too!
i felt the love unspoken was the most appealing to me, the guy who fell for his buddy wife .
he was a frigging good actor, with the limited scenes and conversations, i felt he thoroughly expressed his love and conflict. his declaration of love was very touching, the caroling and signboards. perhaps because i could relate this story to my experience, it was a fitting ending nonetheless........i m definitely gonna burn the soundtrack and movie!

2004-07-20T15:34:00.000-07:00

4 faces:)

just downloaded the hello thingie..

will be putting up some of my works up here to personalise the blog

by the way flu getting better but weather getting bad(heavy rain in morning)

will be on time to school again!

hit by flu bug!

2004-07-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

hit by flu bug...

i usually fall ill once or twice a year, however when i really fall, it is due to a very strong strain of virus, i will be down with fever , sore throat , muscle cramps and incapable of locomotion; basically hibernate while the medicine takes effect...

this time round decided to let body to do the job so sleep more , hydrate by taking more water and go for the more vitamin c stuff to improve body resistance...studying bio has it perks too

anyway....

cannot pay attention in maths lecture...fell asleep as very lethargic

did not eat western food during break as trying to avoid unhealthy, oily food

feel very weak no mood to gym , jog or tone

cannot concentrate on homework , words literally swimming in front of me

tired n lazy to type blog

decided to sleep early...zzzz....

under observation...

2004-07-19T05:56:00.000-07:00

today is my new beginning..thanks to my blossom friend jx
he gave me a wake up call at 6 am and i took 20 minutes to bath and dress up and i went out at 6:30.when i reached there i knew no force in the universe could make me late because i m 1 hour ahead of time.

despite a 20 minutes wait for the bus, i was on time and reached school at 7:00, that was fantastic! amazing! that was one of the few times i came to school so early including the days i was htc and was down for odac morning run.i had to report to tan early morning, but i ws so positive that i believed that even his face would not ruin my day!

i took my break fast and copied some assignments in class. as a result , i did not get bang by tan.k.s ,his new target became my poor malay friend musa. i had bio prac later and i could actually identify all the bits of shit in the microscope and complete my prac on time.i was not caught for eating during gp my teacher did not caught me despite i did not have the worksheet,my luck have changed for the better!

i felt like singing kurt nelson" it's a beautiful day" song at that instance but stopped short just in case i gave someone a bad day.

on subsequent lectures , i kept myself awake somehow, i got cookies from the girls and during the break, i got extra pieces of fried fish from the jap stall i knew it was magic! despite some of my classmates teasing me that i had a fetish about beatiality , my day went on smoothly!

i think i am fated to be an early bird!

i 've been jinxed!!

2004-07-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

hahaha..my first attempt at blogging

i think that i have been jinxed!! i was late for for school the entire week and even today for my gp test.

i dont understand how i got to school late i left home at 7:15 and take a bus to school which was about 6 stops away...and i always turn up late!!
i practically had to wait 30 minutes for bus to arrive and the journey takes 20 minutes so i would reach school at 8.
it was like that for the last 4 days untill friday when i was late again.....i decided to take the back door as i had tip off from the school cleaners(they are my informants)
i had an ominous feeling while i was walking along the baack route,sure enough,micheal tan the school discipline master (and **** ** ***) spotted me and told me to meet at the office.

there i was reprimanded by the principal and vice principal and got pretty much screwed by tan
.i got some warning and a one day suspension but it was raining in school that day so i was stuck in school for about half an hour.

i went to buona vista to get my ez-link replaced later on as tan lost my card when i was down for maintainence, it was pretty crappy as i blew 20 buck on the card the only consolation was that my picture looks better than my previous ez-link card(i looked like a hamburger in it,oh,it was the camera angle btw)

i took a nap when i reached homeup till 6 when my friend gave me a call on the gp test tomorrow...i took a bath and took lunch before sleeping again....

this morning history repeated........i could only take the bus-stop at the front route as it was raining heavily.the bus refused to come and it was 6:50. 20mins passed and no bus came...considering the journey...i knew i had to catch a cab but no cabs came......i prayed ..i sweared....but time seemed to go on forever and it was 7:20 and my gp test was on 7:30!

when the cab finally came ,it rushed me to school and i took the test 10 minutes late. i opened my bag and my pens were missing and i had to use a marker to do the test, which i probably gonna flunk unless the marker can read black patches of ink...

------------------------------------E N D(of me too)-------------------------------------------

first entry

2004-07-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

with nothing better to do and lots of time at his hand. a male homosapien called vic decides to create this blog....